Day 62

Well today is October 1st and I started all this out on August 1st. It's been two months and when I weighed myself this morning I had lost 28 lbs! I was hoping to get those last two taken care of by today, but who am I kidding? Twenty eight pounds in two months is great and I am really proud of myself. I've been hitting the gym four times a week, usually Monday-Thursday because the weekends tend to get tied up with other things and I've been making good choices with food with the occasional "treat" here and there. This is the least that I have weighed since Grace was born, which was over six years ago. I have a so many jackets to wear this fall since they all fit, or are too big, I hope I can get them all in!

I'm about half way to my goal, and I know that the rest of the weight won't come off as quickly and it will be difficult during the holiday season with all the different pies, cookies, and other holiday goodies, but I'm already planning on upping my workout times during that season so that I can still enjoy some of the festivities, but without over doing it. This has always been my biggest battle. It's easier for me to be an all or nothing kind of person than moderation. The problem with that is you get tired of nothing and then go for it all!

One of the reasons I really wanted to get healthier is that in the last 12 months I have had two different surgeries for polyps in my uterus. They have caused an extreme amount of bleeding. So much that last spring when I had a 24-hour virus I passed out and had to go to urgent care where they were astounded I was able to stand at all because of my severe anemia. Somewhere in my mind I had decided that getting healthier, in terms of my weight, could only help prevent these polyps from recurring. But in the past few weeks all the symptoms I had before have started showing up again!

The only thing my doctor said he can do differently is to perform another surgery called an ablation which pretty much burns the inside of the uterus so that polyps can no longer form. Doing this surgery means I come to the conclusion that I never want to have any more children. Even though I am not planning on having any more of my own kids and actually have been getting rid of our baby gear and clothes, it's really hard for me to agree to this surgery. I know logically it makes sense, I mean I'm slowly bleeding to death, but to allow someone to scar my body in such a way really bothers me.

I'm singing at the Furnace later tonight, so I have things to do! Patricia King and James Goll are coming to town at the end of the month and I'm really looking forward to it!

Day 51

So I know I haven't blogged in a while...funny, my plan was to blog everyday, and then I decided once a week would be good. Then when school started back I missed like three weeks! Anyway, I have continued to lose weight. My total as of this morning is 22 pounds lost. I had about 10 days in there where I felt like I was eating well, but not really losing anything and that was really frustrating, but I joined a gym for a couple of months and that really helped. Plus the gym is really nice and has an indoor family pool and last Saturday after I worked out I took the girls to play in the pool and they had a great time. This will definitely be a great place to escape to during the winter.

The past 3 weeks or so have kept me really busy, but it's nice to get back into a rhythm.

Day 28

So far my total weight loss is 14 pounds. This week didn't go as well as planned, but I'm still happy with the outcome. I went to six flags with my friend Jerusha and the kids and packed my lunch so I knew I'd be eating well. We got back to the car about 7 pm, and since it's a two hour drive home we stopped for a quick dinner at Wendy's. I was planning on getting a grilled chicken sandwich, which is always a good option (low fat, low calorie, and pretty filling), but they were highlighting their salads on the menu and I thought, a salad has a lot more veggies, so maybe I'd make a better choice by eating a salad.

I looked over the options, skipped the one with lots of cheese, egg, and bacon, then decided against the one with lots of fruit and nuts, and went with the baja salad. I couldn't tell for sure what was on it, it looked like veggies and taco meat. I glanced around for the nutritional information poster because I thought I remembered seeing on at a Wendy's once, but I couldn't find it. The salad was pretty yummy and I skipped the dressing because that on it's own had 10 grams of fat. It had lots of lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, chili, some cheese, and guacamole. Later before we got in the car I finally found the nutritional information. It seems I ate the one single item that contained the most calories and fat in the place! I was so mad!!! From now on I am going to ask for the nutritional information before I order anything out again!

We also went to visit friends this weekend, so I didn't eat as well as I would have, but I did pack food from home so that at least half the time I was eating what I should. Then at the church picnic last night I brought chicken to throw on the grill and my own low fat/cal wheat bun. Needless to say, it taking a lot of planning to be out and about and eat well, but it's definitely worth it!

School starts this week and I'm back to babysitting on Wednesday, so I'm hoping this transition will be smooth and I can stay on track with my eating.

Day 21

So far I have lost a total of 11.5 pounds! YAY! I feel like I'm in a pretty good rhythm now. I was only able to work out last Monday and Tuesday, Tuesday was the last day of my trial membership. However Wednesday we went to Six Flags and walked a good amount. I need to mow the yard tomorrow, now that would be a great workout!

I feel a little tempted every now and then to eat something I shouldn't. For instance Asher came home with a bag of chips that everyone was munching on. I ate a chip and thought, man these are tasty. As I was going for a second bite I read the nutritional information. 10 grams of fat in 11 chips! I tossed the bag as far away from me as I could and asked him to not bring anything like this home! Most people who are eating chips eat two or three times the serving suggestion (if not the whole bag) and that's more fat than I'm trying to incorporate in my diet for the whole day. Lately when I see something I want I ask myself a question, would you rather eat that, or see the number on the scale go down tomorrow? If anyone else is trying to lose weight, I tell you this question is a great motivator. Plus I eat a serving of fat free frozen yogurt almost every night, so I really don't feel like I'm depriving myself.

I would write more, but it's late and Selah is crying...this continual teething is for the birds!

Day 15

So I'm two weeks in and so far have lost 8.5 pounds, yay! Last week I started a free trial membership at a gym and I was reminded how losing weight is truly a balance of eating right AND exercise. You really don't get that great of results with just one or the other, combine the two, and boom!

I ate pretty well this week. Asher got home on Friday though, so I know it won't be as eating the right foods for me won't be as easy. For example, Asher decided cook dinner tonight and though what he made was healthy, he just didn't understand why I was so adamant about staying on my particular eating plan. He made this really nice vegetable medley which he put on a tortilla with feta. I can have the veggies and tortilla, but I needed to include 3 oz of lean meat, so I made chicken to go with mine. He kept saying he didn't understand why I couldn't just eat it the way he made it, because to him it was healthier to not have the chicken and just eat more veggies. But to me, I think what I've been doing works, why would I change it?

Unfortunately things like this pop up between us often. I know he really enjoys cooking and the restrictions I have are very challenging for him it works for me, but he doesn't cook at home that often and I don't mind making two different meals for dinner (one for me and one for everyone else) because it's worth it to me. AGHHHH....this weekend was really long.

Anyway, my clothes are fitting looser, which makes it easier to stay on track, since I'm seeing results. Just today I was telling my sister, Laci, that I'm really starting to feel better about myself. Sure, when I look in the mirror it's easy to see that I'm not anywhere near my goal yet, but I know that I'm doing everything I can to meet that goal and there is definitely satisfaction in knowing that.

Switching gears...

Tonight I've really been pondering how people live life without Jesus. When I say Jesus, I mean Jesus. Not religion or some form of spirituality, but the One who is always there for me to lean into. The One who I truly do find rest in. The One who is eternally faithful to me and true.

This evening as I was warring with the mosquitoes in between our house and garage I was talking to Him and asking Him advice, what to do about different things going on in this season of my life. Although what I want to do is run away (figuratively speaking, of course) I feel challenged to lean in further and have hope. To never give up. This of course is one of those things that is much easier to say than do. So in the meanwhile as I'm exercising a lot more I guess I'll be in shape if the day ever comes when He does say run!

Day 7...

And still going strong! I've done a pretty great job this week! With the exception for four french fries and one bite of pizza I've stuck to the plan completely! I will confess it's much easier to eat better when everyday I step on the scale and the number is smaller than the day before. Asher is going to be out of town all week for culinary school so I know this next week will go well too. It's also saving us money because it's very difficult to control exactly what you are eating when eating out, and it's cheaper to eat at home and than at a restaurant.

I haven't done much exercise this week, although we did go on a family bike ride. It was fun until Selah started screaming and wouldn't stop until we got back home. I felt sorry for Asher because he was towing Grace (over 60 pounds by herself) and Selah in the bike trailer, and even though it was flat for most of the ride it was a tough workout for him. We are planning on buying a tag a long bike attachment that will turn an adult bike into a tandem with Grace behind one of us. I'm not sure how well that will work since she still uses training wheels, but I'm hoping it won't matter that much.

This next week I am planning on using a free trial week at a local health club that has childcare. I figure since Asher will be out of town it will be nice to have some time to myself even if it means working out. We used to have a membership there, but it takes about 20 minutes to get there from my house and with Selah's nap schedule if I don't go in the morning it's hard to get there.

As for the Spiritual side, I have been singing on a team at the Furnace on Thursday nights, first and third Fridays, and every other Sunday (although this month will be every Sunday except the last). Last night the Encounter service at the Furnace (House of Prayer in Madison) was AMAZING. I was on the team leading and although I could hardly talk this morning, it was completely worth it. Being in this atmosphere is great, it challenges me a lot. Tomorrow our church is hosting James Goll and I'm really looking forward to that. I even planned a babysitter a month ago so that I won't be distracted. :)

Day 1

I spent the last week eating whatever I wanted including splitting a funnel cake with Asher and Grace at Six Flags last Monday. I don't remember the last time I had one, it was delish! It was good having a starting date in mind. I was able to order and get some protein supplements I am planning on using (they arrived on Friday) and by the end of the week I was thinking of starting early just to get started.

Today, Sunday, I spent almost two hour chopping up various veggies to use throughout the week. I thought if they were already ready to use it would be easier and since Selah was sound asleep this was the perfect time to get that done.

I am using a food menu that helped me lose weight previously. The last time I was going in twice a week (mostly for accountability) to get weighed and for "coaching". I did okay on it, but it was about half an hour from my house, and it became unpractical for me to get there twice a week. Eventually I went back to my old eating habits. Regardless, today I started what is called the "Fast Phase".

Breakfast: 1 cup cheerios, 1/2 cup skim milk, and 1/2 banana.

Lunch: 4 oz of ground turkey breast, a low fat corn tortilla, various veggies (at this point I can have an unlimited amount of raw/steamed veggies), salsa, 1 oz cheese, and low fat sour cream.

Afternoon snack: chocolate covered coconut protein bar...it was okay, definitely not good enough to want to eat another right away! :)

Dinner :4 oz of chicken breast, 1/2 cup brown rice, broccoli, mushrooms, onions, green and orange peppers, and 1 1/4 cups strawberries.

Evening snack: I haven't had this yet, but I'm going to try these rice cake bites, I've had these before and they are tasty!

So far I've had 2 Nalgene bottles full of water, so 64 oz, which is my minimum for the day and I'm working on the a 3rd bottle full as I type.

Today was pretty easy. I've got to figure out a way to exercise. Asher is out of town until Tuesday night then all of next week. Hummmm....any suggestions?

I've been reading a book right now that is really helping me see God's perspective on the marital issues Asher and I have been facing. It's really good and has helped me realize some important things I have overlooked in our journey to repair broken places in our marriage. Also the time I've spent at the Furnace (a house of prayer here in Madison) as made a huge difference. Being in a place where people are seeking 100% of God is so refreshing and challenging. I've also made some really good friends there and it is such a comfort to walk in a place and see people who are so genuinely glad to see you they almost squeeze the life out of you!

Overall day 1 is a success!

Hidden

I doubt anyone will ever find this blog, I mean in the vastness that is the internet there are probably millions if not more people out there writing down thoughts and events they find newsworthy. I am not a writer, I have never claimed to be, and I'm definitely not creative. What I am is a wife and a mother who finds herself listening to others so much of the time that I rarely get a word in. So this is me, finally having my say.

I decided to start blogging because like most mothers of young children I need to lose weight. I have spent the majority of my adult life over weight, but had worked really hard and looked and felt great about myself up until the point where I became pregnant with my first child, it's been downhill since then. I'm tired of feeling self conscious and comparing myself with other women. And I find it really sad that I have few pictures with me and my children because I don't like the way I look in them. So starting August 1st I am going to press in and start defeating this beast I have been struggling with for so long.

I am also planning on using this blog as a food diary, so if someone does start reading this feel free to scan past what I'm eating. I need to write it down somewhere.

My goal is to look the best I have in 7 years (my 7 year anniversary is just two days away) by the time my sisters and I take a cruise in October 2011...I think this is a pretty attainable goal, when I dedicate myself to something I'm usually pretty successful.

Any thoughts?